Whenever I place my hair in the light I can see through the ends, but not the root. I keep hoping that this haircut will finally result in thick hair, but in truth I know I have a lot of follicles to stimulate in order to have that reality. My hair has finally reached thin density as compared to bald-spot density. I only have a few small bald spots throughout my head, and due to my highly textured hair, they are not visible unless I show them to you. Of course, the extra short hair in the middle of my head where I use to be bald is rather awkward looking. I am currently cutting my hair in the dreaded mullet to blend this short hair with the balance of my longer hair. I have taken several inches off of the longest strands as well.
|Current Thin Density|
|Small bald Spot|
|Center Right Bald Spot|
Although I should solely be grateful for the gift of hair; I lament the loss of length. It is very difficult to grow my hair long. Ironically, the baldness growth journey resulted in the longest hair I have ever had (my longest hairs could be pulled down to my shoulder blade, a few inches above my bra strap).
Having hair at full shoulder blade length was a dream I never thought my afro textured hair was capable of, and I often wonder if I made the right choice in cutting it. My internal fear is that the growth was a fluke. Do I really know what I am doing? This journey is my own, and I am alone on it. Only God guides me on this. These journals have been written so that whomever comes after me, can benefit from my experience. I had to cut it to eyeball length, pour some VO5(strawberries and creme) for my shed hair, you are not forgotten. I just have to encourage myself that I will be able to grow this thicker hair even longer, and forget about the past. Right now I am wearing a head full of nose length hair, that is 'praise the Lord' of normal thickness. If I am able to grow all my bald spots back, my hair will actually be a little thicker than average. That is just a dream for now, but I think about it, pray about it, and hope for it among many things.
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